A sample from
Exhibitionists – Episode One:
The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Seven Bachelors
In the wake of a narrowly failed suicided attempt by Mel, the college’s life model, Helen confronts her boss George with newly revealed information which suggests he’s been behaving in a manner unbefitting to the head of a B.A. course in Fine Art.
28. INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE. LATE MORNING.
GEORGE is bouncing around on one leg, pulling on his new pants, when Helen bursts in.
What kind of moron do you take me for?
What are you—? Get out! Fuck off!
He retreats behind the desk.
How long’d you think it’d be before someone told me?
Told you what?
Your name, that’s what – your name, scorched in black marker
across that girl’s stomach.
What’re you—? It said GORGE, not GEORGE.
‘Gorge’, right, and what d’you think she meant by that?
I don’t know. Maybe she was... she was...
...she was commenting on... on... well, on what she perceived as
the... the, er, the exploitation of her body by the--
HELEN [almost laughing]
Oh, come ON!
Look, if you’ve got something to say, say it, because I react very
badly to that kind of thinly veiled--
I’m not veiling anything, George, I’m--
I will. I will say it – I’ll say it in front of your wife if you like.
She turns, as if to open the door, but George leaps up, skirts round her and throws
himself against it.
Leave her alone!
Precisely what I said about Melanie.
34. INT. SAVILLE ROOM. LATE MORNING.
SUE is over at FRIDA’s workspace. The baby gazes at Frida’s art pieces while the women
chat, pretending not to notice the sound of muffled shouting from George’s office. Sue is
rummaging for some money to give to Frida.
Oh, that’s a nice idea. What, get her some flowers, or...?
That’s a lovely idea.
35. INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE. LATE MORNING.
George and Helen still at it.
Have you not seen that fabulous piece of arse out there?
Dear God, you’re not talking about your wife?
I’m talking about the most beautiful woman in the whole of
Greater Manchester. My cup runneth over with soft, sensual
female flesh. If you seriously imagine I’d--
It’s not my imagination in question, George.
Fuck you, Helen. Fuck you and all who sail in you. I am Head of
Studies. I don’t even have to take those classes. I could’ve
delegated – to you, or Max, or any of you worthless shower of
shit; God’s teeth, I could’ve put Phil in charge. But no; I have
consistently made myself available to give advice and guidance--
Is that what you call it?
George is silent for a moment.
Y’know what? I’ve had enough of this.
He steps away from the door and goes to fetch his shoes. Helen takes a step
You can do it yourself in future.
HELEN [turning round]
Take those fucking classes, that’s what.
Helen looks stunned.
Well, I’m not to be trusted.
What – so, you want me to...
Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be paid accordingly – you’ll get your
pound of flesh. Better get on with it, though – find yourself a
new model, otherwise you might end up having to get your
own tits out. Wouldn’t want that, would you – shy, retiring
little wallflower that you are.
36. INT. SAVILLE ROOM. LATE MORNING.
JAMES and DANNY are chatting in James’s work area. From their perspective we see
GEORGE come out of his office and stand there, confidently waiting for SUE to join him.
When she does so he gives her a long and ostentatiously tonguey snog.
Fucking hell, that is not right.
He and Danny continue to look on in a mixture of amazement and amusement as George
and family head off
If you’d like to know more about Exhibitionists, contact Robert Cohen at email@example.com